


Garreg Mach Gay Girls Discord

by Varewulf



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Discord Chat - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Modern AU, Spoilers, Yuri, chat room
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-09-19 02:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20323432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varewulf/pseuds/Varewulf
Summary: Just a silly idea I came up with.Modern AU chat room shenanigans.I have no idea if I'll actually add any more chapters to this, I'm just leaving the option open.Some spoilers.Edit update: I got the colours working! Muahahahaha!





	1. Hot Prof

**Author's Note:**

> Another daft idea. This one sprung from me wanting Edelgard to do "ghjsgjajhgsdg" typing. Because she definitely would.
> 
> I spent some time thinking about which girls might be in this discord, and I pretty much landed on "all of them", even if not all are present for this conversation. Sorry, it's just the way I am.
> 
> So yeah, modern AU nonsense. Took me a little while to decide on everyone's handles. I assume that with most of them it's obvious who is who. Figured that in a modern AU Edelgard wouldn't have to actually start a revolutionary war, so the Flame Emperor moniker could just be a cute "edgy" online handle. She might like to think she's hard, but she's definitely the softest of the house leaders. And a big disaster gay. Fufufu~

**Flame Emperor**

ugh

**Primadonna**

Hm? What's wrong, Edie?

**Flame Emperor**

it's the new professor

**Mercie**

Oh dear. Is there a problem?

**Flame Emperor**

yes  
no  
not a... kinda?  
I just  
ugh

**Petra**

What happened?

**Primadonna**

Give us the tea, sis.

**Petra**

Why would we have tea?

**Hilda-chan**

It's just an expression, Petra.  
Come on, spill the beans, princess.

**Petra**

Beans?

**Flame Emperor**

okay, so  
I figured that, as class president, I should assert some dominance  
let her know her place

**Primadonna**

Edie  
You didn't.

**Flame Emperor**

Listen! she doesn't look any older than us, so I don't want her getting any ideas!  
so I told her I'd be keeping an eye on her. that she should be careful, or I might bite.  
and she fucking said  
"I don't mind. go ahead."  
hsajadhslhshjgag GOD

**Primadonna**

Edie! You didn't!  
Ahahahahahahahaha  
You hit on the professor!

**Flame Emperor**

I didn't!  
I was just

**Hilda-chan**

You totally did. And in such a corny way too.  
I'm impressed.

**Flame Emperor**

I'm telling you I didn't

**BernieBear**

Hey, even I can tell that was a come-on.

**Petra**

Hit on? Come on? I don't understand.

**Primadonna**

She was flirting, Petra.

**Petra**

Oh! I understand. Yes, that was definitely flirting.

**Flame Emperor**

fdhajdfjkrtsjkdhjdha FINE  
okay, so maybe I did  
but in my defence, she's really damn hot

**Primadonna**

Can't disagree there.

**Flame Emperor**

surely it's against teaching guidelines to hire professors that hot??  
it's distracting to the learning environment!!  
worst of all I can't read her expression at all, so I don't know if she was just messing with me, or what  
jahrhjjhdjdhsdfgh

**Primadonna**

Calm down, Edie.

**Hilda-chan**

I haven't seen her up close a ton, but if she's really that hot, maybe I should ask about changing classes.

**BernieBear**

I just think she's nice.  
She looked scary the first time I saw her, but then... it's weird, but she feels safe.  
Makes me feel safe, I mean. There's just something about her presence, even though she never shows any emotion. A sense that she'll take care of me. So I'm not scared of her any more.  
She's like a strong big sister.

**Mercie**

Oh my. I thought I was the big sister around here. Now I have competition?

**Cursed**

Feeling safe sounds nice.

**Hilda-chan**

Marianne! We talked about this! I told you you're not allowed to use that screen-name! Change it right now!

**Cursed**

I'm sorry, Hilda.

**Animal Friend**

Is this the one you told me?

**Hilda-chan**

Yes. Now don't you dare change it again, or I'll accessorise your hair in the morning.

**Mercie**

Fufu~, that sounds fun. I can help out if you want.

**Hilda-chan**

An intriguing idea. Yeah, we should definitely collaborate at some point, Mercie!

**Animal Friend**

Don't I get a say in this?

**Hilda-chan**

I'll consider it, if you behave.

**Flame Emperor**

ugh, what do I do?  
the professor must think I'm terrible

**Petra**

I'm sure she doesn't.

**Primadonna**

She probably just thinks you're terrible at flirting.

**Quiver**

You know you shouldn't flirt with the teachers. Manuela is bad enough.

**Primadonna**

It's just some harmless fun.

**Mercie**

Yeah, the young should enjoy their youth.

**BernieBear**

You're not _that_ much older, Mercedes.

**Primadonna**

Oh, I know! I can teach you some better pick-up lines, Edie!

**Flame Emperor**

That's not helping, Dorothea!  
hdsjhdjatjjhnhjaskl  
I'm gonna go do my assignment now  
bye

**Primadonna**

Bye~

**Hilda-chan**

Good luck~

**Petra**

Yes, good luck.

**Mercie**

I wonder if she'll be alright. Maybe I should make her some tea, and bring it over.

**Hilda-chan**

All the way to the other dorm?

**Mercie**

It's not that far. I don't mind.

**Primadonna**

Ooo, that's a good idea. Tea party in Edie's room.

**Hilda-chan**

I'm game.

**BernieBear**

I think I'll stay in my room.

**Petra**

Didn't she say she was going to work?

**Primadonna**

Don't worry, we'll help her out while we're there.

**Petra**

Okay. Then I would like to come too.

**Primadonna**

Excellent! We can meet up there in like half an hour? I have to prepare a few things.


	2. Sweet Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with more shenanigans, this time involving a couple of different characters, though I couldn't entirely exclude Edelgard being a disaster, since that was the genesis of this idea in the first place. But I also wanted to include Annette and Lysithea for this one. Not everyone is going to be present for every conversation, after all.
> 
> As for their colours I kinda regretted already making Mercedes orange, since orange is a very Annette colour, but having two different shades isn't so bad. The two of them are pretty close, so why not.
> 
> It took me a little while for Lysithea, but I thought that since she's so preoccupied with seeming mature, she would probably think changing the text colour is childish. Same with using a nickname. Using her normal name is the mature thing to do, after all.
> 
> For Annette I wanted to do something along the lines of Study Wizard, or Study Wiz, even though she's not an actual wizard in a modern setting. I settled on Wizard Annie because I figured it would make it easier for people to remember who she is, hehe...

**Wizard Annie**

hey mercie.  
i'm in town, and wondered if there's anything we need for tonight/

**Mercie**

For the baking, you mean?

**Wizard Annie**

yes.

**Mercie**

I'll check. But you could have just called or texted me, you know.

**Wizard Annie**

i forgot my phone.

**Mercie**

You forgot your phone?

**Lysithea**

Then how are you chatting with us?

**Wizard Annie**

i'm on my laptop.  
using the wifi at mcburger.

**Lysithea**

hahahahahahahaha  
How did you manage to forget your phone, yet bring your laptop?

**Wizard Annie**

uh  
i'm not sure.  
actually, i hope i didn't leave it in a bad place.

**Lysithea**

But why bring your laptop at all?

**Wizard Annie**

i thought i would work on my essay on the bus.

**Lysithea**

I see.  
By the way, have you broken the shift key on your laptop? Again?

**Wizard Annie**

urk.  
how did you know/

**Lysithea**

Call it a hunch.  
Don't worry, I'll see if I can fix it when you get back.  
But in return, I want you to bring me a milkshake.

**Wizard Annie**

milkshake/

**Lysithea**

Yeah, you said you're at McBurger. I want a vanilla and chocolate blend.  
There, I sent you money. You remembered your card, right?

**Wizard Annie**

uh, yeah, but is that even on the menu/

**Lysithea**

They'll make just about anything if you think to ask for it.

**Wizard Annie**

but isn't that being a bother/

**Lysithea**

Don't worry about it.  
I sent enough money for you to get one for yourself as well. You're welcome.  
Or get two for me if you don't want one.

**Wizard Annie**

alright, i'll do it.

**Lysithea**

Thanks, Annette. You're almost as sweet as the milkshake.

**Mercie**

I'm back.  
Ooo, I would also quite like a milkshake. Strawberry, please. I'll send you money for it.  
Oh right, we need more powdered sugar, and a carton of cream. Looks like we're fine otherwise.

**Wizard Annie**

how am i supposed to carry three milkshakes/

**Lysithea**

You're a strong and resourceful girl. Just ask for a bag.

**Mercie**

You two are very cute, but you should probably keep your flirting to DMs.

**Wizard Annie**

we're not flirting1

**Lysithea**

We're not?

**Wizard Annie**

no11

**Lysithea**

I thought we were.

**Wizard Annie**

you're the worst, lysithea1  
i'm going now.

**Mercie**

Take care, Annie.  
Actually, won't the milkshakes have melted by the time she gets back?

**Lysithea**

Should be fine.  
If not I'll drink them anyway.  
So when's the baking starting?

**Mercie**

We were thinking about an hour after dinner.

**Lysithea**

Cool.

**Primadonna**

Hey, listen to this!  
Edie had a moment in class today!

**Lysithea**

What?

**Flame Emperor**

I did not have a moment  
what does that even mean?

**Primadonna**

You were sweating.

**Flame Emperor**

I was not

**Primadonna**

Hubert looked worried.

**Flame Emperor**

he did not!!

**Mercie**

Oh dear. What happened?

**Flame Emperor**

nothing!

**Primadonna**

Well, you see. During our free study period today the professor was grading papers at her desk. And she was wearing glasses. The sight caused Edie to overheat.

**Flame Emperor**

I did no such thing!!!

**Lysithea**

Doesn't she normally wear glasses?

**Primadonna**

No, it's the first time we've seen it.  
I couldn't resist asking, and she said one of her contact lenses had become unusable, so she had to use glasses until she could get it replaced.  
I suggested she use them more often. We can just fit Edie with a napkin to soak up the drool.

**Flame Emperor**

I would never drool!!!

**Lysithea**

I feel like I need to have a closer look at this professor of yours. I'm curious what sort of woman can make Edelgard go feral.

**Flame Emperor**

I have not gone feral!!!  
ghjdfhksfksjdhdhjsjs  
it's just

**Lysithea**

just?

**Flame Emperor**

those are some really stylish frames she has, and  
ugh  
fuck, she looks so good

**Mercie**

Oh me, oh my. Sounds like you have it really bad.

**Flame Emperor**

jhagjtahdjkyrfkhdh  
why am I such a mess?  
maybe I should see about getting the professor moved to another class  
Hubert suggested a plan to petition the headmaster, we just need a good enough excuse  
he wants to get her fired, but I wouldn't go that far  
I simply don't have the time to be so flustered

**Primadonna**

Don't you dare. Or I'll tell on you.

**Flame Emperor**

what

**Primadonna**

We have a professor that Bernie likes. That everyone likes.  
Maybe except Ferdie, he looked really pouty after exiting her office the other day. I wonder what they talked about...  
Anyway! I'm not going to let you ruin that just because you can't keep your horny under control. So if you so much as try, I will tell them everything.

**Flame Emperor**

ugh  
Dorothea  
you  
khfhdgsfhdgjkdfjhrfj  
FINE!  
I won't petition

**Primadonna**

Good.

**Flame Emperor**

I'm stronger than this anyway  
I can master my emotions  
you'll see  
in a week I'll be perfectly fine

**Lysithea**

Hahaha, good luck!

**Mercie**

I believe in you.

**Primadonna**

And tell Hubert that if he tries anything "overprotective" I will break his arm.

**Flame Emperor**

uh...  
I'll let him know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like girls in glasses, so characters I write also often end up liking girls in glasses. I can't help it. Or maybe I can, but don't want to.
> 
> I'm not entirely sure how to handle the Mercedes/Annette/Lysithea thing yet. In the game I of course think Annette and Mercedes are very cute and close, but I also thought the competitive flirting between Annette and Lysithea was really cute. So I guess for now they're sort of an informal triangle? Maybe? Playful friends? I'll think more about it later.


	3. Dying of Thirst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea I have basically stolen from one of the comments on the previous chapter, because the idea of a swimming session when Edelgard notoriously can't swim was too good to pass up. Also figured Leonie could get in this time.
> 
> Oh, and I tweaked a couple of people's colours after it was pointed out they were hard to see on the dark skin. So I made Marianne a lighter blue, so I could also change Quiver's colour in chapter 1 to something a bit lighter, and not have those two look too similar. I should probably do more with Quiver, but it was always the intention to have her be a lurker. Disaster Edelgard is too much fun to worry about a lot else, hehe.

**Primadonna**

Hey everyone.

**Hilda-chan**

Hiya!

**Lysithea**

Hi.

**Mercie**

Hello~

**Animal Friend**

Hello.

**Huntress**

Uh hey.  
I heard there was some commotion with your class today. What happened?

**Lysithea**

Commotion?

**Primadonna**

Oh, yeah.  
Well, the professor had decided that for PE today, since the weather is so nice, we would head down to the lake for a swimming session.

**Mercie**

Ooo, that sounds nice. We were baking in the classroom today, but our professor wouldn't even open a window.

**Primadonna**

You'd think a school like this could afford a pool.  
Anyway, things went bad pretty quickly, because it turns out Edie can't swim.

**Lysithea**

What?

**Flame Emperor**

eesh, you don't have to tell everyone, Dorothea

**Primadonna**

Edie! Shouldn't you be resting?!

**Flame Emperor**

I'm fine  
plus I'm sitting down

**Primadonna**

You're the one who should have told everyone! What were you thinking?!

**Flame Emperor**

I was going to!  
I headed over to the professor to tell her that I should be excused  
but

**Lysithea**

but?

**Flame Emperor**

I saw her in her swimsuit and  
fuck  
surely you saw, Dorothea?  
her butt looks like it could smash rock, and her thighs as if they could crush someone's skull  
and I wanted to  
...

**Mercie**

Ah, I understand. You wanted to impress her.

**Primadonna**

In other words, you weren't thinking. Sheesh, Edie!  
Your pride will be your undoing.

**Hilda-chan**

I've heard the expression "dying of thirst", but I didn't think it could be interpreted this literally.  
You might have set a new record. Good job, Edelgard.

**Flame Emperor**

ugh

**Primadonna**

You seriously could have died, Edie! You're lucky the professor is so good at CPR.

**Flame Emperor**

huh?

**Primadonna**

After Petra pulled you out of the water, the professor performed CPR to revive you.

**Huntress**

Holy crap.

**Flame Emperor**

what?

**Primadonna**

You don't remember?

**Flame Emperor**

no?  
wait, what do you mean?

**Primadonna**

You weren't breathing, so she had to revive you.  
Chest compressions, mouth to mouth, the whole deal.  
After she judged you had coughed up enough water, she carried you to the infirmary herself.

**Flame Emperor**

mouth to mouth

**Hilda-chan**

Whoa, that almost sounds worth drowning for.

**Primadonna**

Not funny, Hilda.  
You seriously don't remember?

**Mercie**

Oh dear. Good thing it turned out alright.

**Primadonna**

Edie?

**Huntress**

You know, I had heard stories about how the professor only got the job because of her father, but I guess she knows her stuff after all. I guess he taught her well.  
Not that surprising, I suppose.

**Lysithea**

You know him?

**Huntress**

Yeah, I met him years ago when I was a kid. I got the impression that he knew everything, could do anything. I guess he became a hero of mine. So I didn't entirely buy the idea that he had used his connections to get her a job. Didn't sound like his style.

**Lysithea**

You know his "style"?

**Huntress**

Yeah, you know. Stand up for the weak. Protect those who need it. Uphold justice. That kinda thing.  
Find it hard to believe anyone that great could use underhanded tactics, even to help his family.

**Hilda-chan**

Sounds like someone has a crush~.

**Primadonna**

Uh, Edie isn't responding to DMs.

**Mercie**

Oh my. Are you sure she didn't just leave because she was embarrassed?

**Primadonna**

Maybe, but she usually announces her departure in a dramatic fashion if that's the case.

**Lysithea**

Haha, true enough. She can be quite childish.

**Primadonna**

I'm a little worried.  
Hilda, can you check on her? Your rooms are pretty close, right?

**Hilda-chan**

You really think that's necessary?

**Primadonna**

Please?

**Hilda-chan**

Alright. I'll be back in a bit.

**BernieBear**

Has something happened to Edelgard?  
Something else, I mean?

**Animal Friend**

Hello, Bernadetta.

**Primadonna**

I mean, I hope not.

**BernieBear**

Hi, Marianne.  
I got scared by what happened today.  
Good thing Petra is so quick. And the professor is so strong.  
I was too panicky to do anything useful.

**Primadonna**

It's okay, Bernie. I wasn't able to help either.

**Animal Friend**

I probably would have frozen.

**Lysithea**

I've read about CPR, but never actually done it, so yeah... understandable that you'd get scared when something actually happened.

**Flame Emperor**

Hilda here. Good thing you asked me to check on her.

**Primadonna**

What? Why?!

**Flame Emperor**

Found her on the floor. She's completely catatonic. Couldn't rouse her at all.  
All I could do was put her in bed, and try to make her comfortable. Probably shouldn't leave her alone.

**Primadonna**

On your own? You're pretty strong huh, Hilda?

**Animal Friend**

Strong enough to carry me. It's nice.

**Flame Emperor**

Ahaha, don't spread it around, okay? People might stop doing favours for me if they think I'm too capable.

**Lysithea**

How fiendish of you.

**Primadonna**

Thank you. I'll come by soon to check on her, and relieve you.

**Mercie**

I'll make some nice tea, and bring it over right away. Maybe the smell of her favourite will wake her.

**Emperor Hilda**

You don't think she'll be mad I change her handle, do you?  
Oh, I wanted to mention. Marianne and I might be joining your class soon, Dorothea.

**Primadonna**

Wait, really?  
I thought you were just joking about that.

**Emperor Hilda**

Yeah well, Marianne's been talking to Bernadetta, and apparently decided she liked what she heard enough to want to transfer. And I can't exactly let her go on her own, you know?

**Animal Friend**

I'm sorry.

**Emperor Hilda**

Don't worry about it. Not like I'm super attached to our current class. It's more important to me that you're comfortable. <3  
So I did the paperwork, and all we have to do is wait for approval. Hopefully the headmaster won't shoot us down.

**BernieBear**

I hope it works out.  
I'm... uh... not the most sociable, but I'll do what I can to help you get settled. Get you caught up on lessons, maybe? I have tons of notes you can borrow.

**Animal Friend**

Thank you, Bernadetta.

**Huntress**

Hang on, you're all leaving me behind?

**Lysithea**

Hey, I don't count?

**Huntress**

I thought you were also leaving?

**Lysithea**

No.  
Well, I shan't claim I haven't thought about it, but I haven't decided on anything.  
I was also considering professor Hanneman's class, since I'm read up on his research, and Mercedes and Annette are there, but I'm not so sure about some of the others in that class.  
For now I'm fine staying where I am.

**Emperor Hilda**

Hahaha, maybe we'll all end up in professor Byleth's class in the end.  
Oh, Mercedes is here, I should go.

**Primadonna**

I'll get some stuff ready, and head over too.  
See you soon.


	4. Professional Fishing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I'd give Edelgard a break this time, and play around with someone else instead. I'm merciless. And fond of language barrier shenanigans.
> 
> I've actually been thinking a lot about how I want to divide up the ships for this AU, and I *think* I have settled on a chart. Though I might change my mind still.

**Petra**

Congratulations on becoming school president, Edelgard.

**Flame Emperor**

thank you, Petra  
but it's student council president, not school president

**Lysithea**

Yeah, she hasn't taken over the whole school.

**Petra**

What is the difference?

**Flame Emperor**

the student council oversees club activity at the school, organises events being held, and acts as intermediary between the students and the faculty  
any concerns the students have are typically brought to the council, who then bring it to the faculty  
it doesn't actually run the school

**Primadonna**

So now Edie has another reason to talk to professor Byleth.

**Petra**

Oh. I was hoping to ask for an increase in my scholarship payments.

**Lysithea**

I don't think that's within the power of the student council.

**Flame Emperor**

correct

**Petra**

But you could ask the headmaster for me?

**Flame Emperor**

I don't think that would help, Petra  
I'd have to look it up, but I think your parents would have to petition the school board for something like that  
sorry

**Hilda-chan**

Would be nice if it worked that way~  
What do you want the money for anyway?

**Petra**

I want to buy a fishing rod.

**Primadonna**

A fishing rod? Why?

**Petra**

I have been fishing with the professor. I came across her sitting by the lake with her rod a while back. She let me borrow a spare rod so we could fish together.  
It is nice. I used to fish back home. But that was ocean-fishing, not freshwater-fishing.  
Even so it helps me remember. I miss the ocean. So I would like my own rod.

**Lysithea**

The professor fishes?

**Petra**

Yes.

**Wizard Annie**

I have seen her, now that you mention it. I've spotted her down there several times while running errands, but I didn't realise she was actually fishing.

**Primadonna**

Is she any good?

**Petra**

Yes.  
She catches a lot of fish. All of them get donated to the dining hall.  
I think she must be a professional.

**Wizard Annie**

Why would a professional fisher become a professor?

**Flame Emperor**

interesting

**Primadonna**

Are you getting ideas, Edie? Perhaps you also want a fishing rod now?

**Flame Emperor**

what?  
why would I want that?  
it's just interesting to learn something new, that's all

**Petra**

By the way, what is MILF?

**Hilda-chan**

Pardon?

**Primadonna**

uh, where did you learn that term, Petra?

**Petra**

From the professor.

**Hilda-chan**

Hahaha, what??

**Primadonna**

Petra, PLEASE explain in more detail before anyone answers anything.

**Petra**

I do not understand, but okay.  
When we fish the professor usually wears a t-shirt with some sort of fishing thing on it. But yesterday it was not as warm, so she wore a sweater that had MILF on it in big letters.  
There was more text underneath, but it was at an angle and size that made it hard to read. I did not want to seem rude, so I thought it would be better to ask you.

**Flame Emperor**

what

**Primadonna**

uh

**Hilda-chan**

uuuhhhh  
any ideas?

**Wizard Annie**

I don't get it? I also don't know what MILF means, but I can tell you're all acting weird.

**BernieBear**

I think I found it!  
Is this the sweater you saw, Petra?  
[posts image]

**Petra**

Yes, that is it! I can see the smaller text now. "Man I Love Fishing"? Aha, yes, that makes sense. So that is what MILF means.

**Primadonna**

uh, yes. That is definitely what it means.

**Hilda-chan**

Nice save, Bernadetta!

**Lysithea**

Uh, shouldn't we give a more complete explanation? You know, in case of future misunderstandings?

**Primadonna**

Later.

**Hilda-chan**

Definitely later.

**Flame Emperor**

yeah, and not in here

**Wizard Annie**

you're all being very suspicious.

**Petra**

I have another question.  
What is the correct custom for asking someone to go out somewhere with you?

**Wizard Annie**

custom?

**Primadonna**

Go out somewhere? Do you mean like on a date?

**Petra**

Yes.

**Hilda-chan**

Ooooo, you've already found someone you're interested in?

**Petra**

Yes.  
But I do not know what is the proper way of asking in this country.

**Hilda-chan**

I'm not sure if there is a "proper way" as such...

**Primadonna**

I think it's okay to just ask, Petra.  
So long as you're forthright and honest about it, it should be fine. The important thing is they understand your intentions.  
But I'm dying to know: who is it?

**Petra**

No need to die.  
Bernadetta. Would you like to go out to dinner with me?

**Primadonna**

Bernie?

**BernieBear**

huh?  
me?

**Petra**

Yes.

**Hilda-chan**

Whoa~

**BernieBear**

on a date?

**Petra**

Yes.

**BernieBear**

why me?

**Petra**

Because you look cute, and tasty.

**BernieBear**

tasty??

**Petra**

You are very nice, and I like you. And I would like to get you know you better.

**BernieBear**

I...  
I don't know...

**Primadonna**

Ahaha...  
I appreciate you following my advice, Petra, but this is probably something you should have asked in private, and not in front of everyone.

**Petra**

Oh. I understand. My mistake.  
I will come to your room and ask again, Bernadetta.

**BernieBear**

wait! My heart isn't ready!

**Primadonna**

I meant in private chat considering it's Bernie.  
Huh, I think she's already gone.

**Wizard Annie**

Oh wow. Good luck, Bernadetta.

**Lysithea**

Yeah, good luck.

**BernieBear**

kfghjfkfhdkjsjsryksky  
What do I do???

**Primadonna**

First of all you need to calm down.

**Hilda-chan**

Petra doesn't waste time, huh?

**BernieBear**

That's easy for you to say!!!

**Hilda-chan**

Well, how do you feel about her?

**BernieBear**

I...  
I don't know.  
I mean, she's kind, nice, and pretty. I like her, but not like  
I mean, I never would have imagined someone like me could  
fhbsjrjdzkfsjkdj  
Seriously, what do I do??? She could be here any minute!!!

**Primadonna**

I think you need to give her a proper answer, Bernie.

**BernieBear**

I don't know what to answer!  
sdfhfgksykidjfkdb HELP

**Lysithea**

Hey, I don't think you have to answer right away.

**Hilda-chan**

Yeah, I'm sure Petra will understand if you just tell her you need time to think it over.

**BernieBear**

She said I look tasty! Is she going to eat me??

**Hilda-chan**

If you're lucky.

**BernieBear**

huh???

**Primadonna**

Don't worry about it, Bernie. She didn't mean anything bad, I assure you.  
I think the others are right that you can just tell her you want time to think it over. You can do that, right?

**BernieBear**

I...  
I can try.  
but...

**Primadonna**

And then when you're ready, just send her a text with your answer. But you better make sure you think it over properly, okay? If you just say no in a panic, it might hurt her, and might hurt you too.  
So if you decide to turn her down, make sure you do it properly. I've read your fics, so I know you can do it.

**BernieBear**

You've read my fics???  
oh shit there's knocking

**Primadonna**

Good luck~

**Hilda-chan**

Have fun~

**Flame Emperor**

will she be okay?

**Primadonna**

Yeah. Probably. I hope.


	5. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter is all the break Edelgard is getting. Get back to your gay panic, young lady. I guess this is kinda based on an actual event in the game. Also trying to come up with modern analogies for how things are in the game is hard, but probably easier than trying to come up with entirely new backstories. At least that's my excuse.

**Mercie**

So who's coming to horror night this weekend?  
I've gotten some really good ones this time.

**Wizard Annie**

I'll be there.

**Lysithea**

I'm busy.

**Primadonna**

I should be able to make it.

**Hilda-chan**

I'll come if there's homemade snacks.

**Huntress**

I'm not great with that stuff, so no thanks.

**Mercie**

Of course there will be homemade snacks~  
Hm... weren't you busy last time too, Lysithea? And the one before?

**Lysithea**

So? I'm busy a lot.

**Mercie**

That is true, but you usually make time for sweets.

**Wizard Annie**

I suppose this has nothing to do with your fear of ghosts?

**Lysithea**

What are you talking about?  
I'm not afraid of ghosts.

**Wizard Annie**

sure you're not.

**Lysithea**

Shut up, Annette.

**Huntress**

Um...  
Hey, is it true that Petra asked Bernadetta out?

**Hilda-chan**

Yup!  
And right in front of everyone too. So bold.

**Huntress**

Did she say yes?

**Primadonna**

Don't know yet. We suggested she take some time to think it over, since she ended up panicking a little bit.  
Don't think she ever expected anyone would be interested.

**Huntress**

Huh

**Hilda-chan**

Why are you asking? Were you hoping Petra would ask _you_ out instead?

**Huntress**

What?  
No.

**Mercie**

Or maybe _you_ want to be the one to ask Bernadetta out?

**Huntress**

No, of course not.  
Why would I even want to?  
That's ridiculous.

**Mercie**

Hm...

**Hilda-chan**

Hmmmmmm...

**Flame Emperor**

ghdhshsjuhsdhjfkjdjkj

**Lysithea**

Hello, Edelgard. How are you today?

**Flame Emperor**

she smiled!

**Lysithea**

Huh?

**Flame Emperor**

uirfhkmrfuhjjkkjrjdfga  
SHE SMILED!!!

**Hilda-chan**

Who smiled?

**Flame Emperor**

the professor!  
she smiled at me  
ghjdjhrkihdhjnkjmjuey

**Huntress**

? So?

**Primadonna**

Wait, really? You're sure?

**Flame Emperor**

yes!  
I know I'm a mess, but I also know what I saw, Dorothea  
it was a real smile!  
dasyhjksrakiujakitj

**Primadonna**

Whoa...

**Hilda-chan**

I don't get it. What's the big deal?

**Primadonna**

The professor never smiles. In fact, she never outwardly shows any emotion at all.  
But you can still kinda... I guess tell how she's feeling?  
Maybe that's a bad way of phrasing it, but...  
There's like a strange aura about her.

**Hilda-chan**

Seriously?

**Flame Emperor**

yes!  
she's always so stoic and expressionless, which is cool, and hot

**Hilda-chan**

Both cool and hot, huh?

**Flame Emperor**

shut up  
ugh  
her smile is so beautiful, Dorothea  
I thought I was going to die

**Mercie**

Oh my.

**Primadonna**

Calm down, Edie.  
What exactly happened?

**Flame Emperor**

well  
we were discussing the upcoming class outing  
I was reporting our progress, and how everything was on schedule  
and when I was done talking, she said "that's good", and smiled  
iupotikjrjdshrkisryoki GOD  
I felt like I was about to explode  
so I had to quickly excuse myself and run away

**Primadonna**

Ooo~  
I hope this means she's going to start doing it more often, because I am definitely curious to see it.

**Flame Emperor**

ugh  
I had gotten so good at staying composed around her too  
then this caught me completely off guard  
hfdjuhreygrshdfjhd  
I must have looked so pathetic

**Hilda-chan**

Hahaha~  
I tease, but that sounds similar to when I first saw Marianne smile. It seriously made my heart skip a beat.  
I guess I haven't seen enough of the professor yet to really notice.

**Huntress**

So she's never smiled before? That's odd.  
Jeralt always seems to have a wry smile and bad joke on hand.

**Wizard Annie**

I wonder if she just smiles really rarely, and Edelgard got lucky to see it?

**Mercie**

Hm... or maybe being here has taught her to smile? I think that would be a good thing.

**Lysithea**

I heard that Jeralt raised her on his own. Maybe he didn't do a good job?

**Huntress**

Hey, watch what you say!

**Primadonna**

Really? How do you know?

**Lysithea**

I did some research on all the professors. It's important to know that stuff if you're thinking about whose class you want to attend. For instance I found out that Hanneman used to be the head of a research facility before he gave it all up to come here and teach, so he probably knows what he's talking about.  
But I could find very little about Byleth. Her background is a bit of a mystery. One of the few things I learned is that someone had heard Jeralt say the professor's mother died when she was young.  
Alois keeps claiming he knows Jeralt, but when I pressed him he admitted he hadn't heard from him in a long time. Didn't even know he had a child.

**Huntress**

Now that you mention it, he was on his own when I met him.  
I'm not sure why he wouldn't bring his daughter along with him.

**Mercie**

I can imagine that being a single parent is challenging. Especially if your child has any special needs. I don't think it's fair to assume he's a bad parent.

**Lysithea**

That's not what I meant. I just...  
Even if you're good at something, it doesn't always mean you'll succeed.

**Mercie**

If there's not a lot known about her, maybe she grew up fairly isolated, and hasn't interacted much with people until now?

**Flame Emperor**

setting my hopelessness aside for a moment  
I will say that she's a good professor  
she seems to have a knack for identifying what everyone needs, and treats us all fairly

**Primadonna**

Which I'm sure is part of why Edie is so head over heels~  
That, and her killer body.  
Edie, did you see her abs when we had track day?

**Flame Emperor**

jsjjhrykhdzkjrfykjdbdjjuehedju  
WHY WOULD YOU REMIND ME I WAS JUST COOLING DOWN

**Primadonna**

Muahahahahaha! >:3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just finished the Blue Lions route last night. My second route after Black Eagles Edelgard route. And wow was it painful.  
I love both Edelgard and Hubert, so having to take them down really hurt.  
Did you know that in the final mission Edelgard has two flavourful quirks? SPOILERS AHEAD. First off she will only attack Byleth once, which comes with her saying a line like "Facing you makes me weak", and then she will refuse to attack Byleth for the rest of the map. For me it happened when she was using her super-long-range attack, so when I finally reached her I could have Byleth stand within her attack range, and El would refuse to attack first. The way she loves Byleth no matter what route you pick, and what decisions you make is really tragic.  
The second quirk is that if Dimitri is in range, she will always attack him first above anyone else, no matter what the hit chance or projected damage is.  
I just love the flavour that adds to the whole showdown, as heart-breaking as it is. Can't I just hug the girl for all eternity?


	6. Messing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a break over the weekend to play through Astral Chain, but now I'm back on my bullshit. I had hoped to write yesterday, but it took a little while to readjust my brain. Astral Chain is very good, btw.
> 
> Part of this chapter is an idea I got from my friend [Rose](https://twitter.com/AngryAria). Her fanfics of my fanfics I sometimes take, and put it in my own stuff. I try to remember to credit her when I do.
> 
> I was also reminded more of how Discord works, with the @s and all that. So incorporated that a bit this time. Not going to make it retroactive though.

**Mercie**

How did your date go @BernieBear?

**BernieBear**

Terrible.

**Mercie**

Really? Why?

**BernieBear**

Petra was very nice, but... I was so nervous. Kept messing up everything. I don't think I'm made for dating.

**Mercie**

I'm sure that's not true.

**Hilda-chan**

Petra looked pretty happy today. Wasn't she during the date?

**BernieBear**

I... I'm not sure. I'm actually really bad at reading people's expressions.  
It's part of why in-person interactions are so stressful to me. I can't tell what people are feeling or thinking, so I always assume the worst.  
She stayed for the whole date no matter how much I screwed up, but maybe she was just being polite.

**Hilda-chan**

So no eating then?

**Lysithea**

Shut up, Hilda.

**Hilda-chan**

You can't tell me what to do!  
We're not even in the same class any longer.

**Mercie**

Shush, Hilda.  
I don't think Petra is that type of person, Bernadetta. If she really wasn't enjoying herself, I think she would have told you.

**BernieBear**

Really?

**Flame Emperor**

I'd say Mercedes is right, Bernadetta  
I knew her before we started school here, and she's always been very forthright

**Hilda-chan**

Oh right, you helped her get in didn't you, Edelgard?

**Flame Emperor**

you make it sound so shady  
all I did was help her navigate the admissions process  
she did all the hard work herself

**BernieBear**

mm... you really think so?

**Flame Emperor**

if you're really that worried, just talk to her  
she will answer you honestly  
she always does

**BernieBear**

Okay. Thank you.

**Hilda-chan**

You're being very quiet over there @Huntress

**Huntress**

Huh? I'm just doing my homework. Not really paying attention.

**Hilda-chan**

mmhmmm

**Huntress**

What? If you got something to say, then say it.

**Hilda-chan**

No, nothing~

**BernieBear**

Oh, Leonie. I'm free to give you a sewing lesson tonight. Or tomorrow night is also fine. Or whenever is best for you.

**Huntress**

Thank you. I can make it tonight.

**Mercie**

Sewing lesson?

**BernieBear**

Yeah, Leonie asked me if I could teach her how to sew.

**Mercie**

Oh?

**Hilda-chan**

Did she now?

**Lysithea**

You don't say?

**BernieBear**

Uh... yes?

**Huntress**

What's the big deal? It's a useful skill, and Bernadetta is very good at it.

**Flame Emperor**

?  
is something going on?

**Huntress**

No.

**Hilda-chan**

Maybe~

**Huntress**

No!

**Quiver**

You said I could come to you for advice, so here I am. This is stupid, but it’s... alright, so, my wife is in love with someone else too. She’s someone unattainable and my wife knows it, it’s just like, a fantasy of hers. A one-sided crush. That should be fine, right? I told her it was fine. But it’s been kind of in the back of my mind ever since, and I don’t know how to bring it up now. I’m just being dumb right?

**BernieBear**

... um...

**Hilda-chan**

Holy shit

**Quiver**

Wait isn't this a direct message? I clicked her name. I thought that was how?

**Lysithea**

No, this is definitely not a direct message.

**Hilda-chan**

You're MARRIED?!?!?

**Mercie**

Who were you trying to DM?

**Quiver**

That isn't important.

**BernieBear**

Do you want me to tell you how to delete that message @Quiver?

**Hilda-chan**

DONT YOU DARE THIS IS THE GREATEST THING

**Quiver**

Look I don't want to make a thing out of this. Sorry.

**Lysithea**

Calm the fuck down, Hilda.

**Hilda-chan**

Or what? Not only are we not in the same class, but we're not even in the same dorm. So nyeh

**Flame Emperor**

no, but I am, and I can break down your door if I have to  
so behave

**Hilda-chan**

urk  
Fine...

**Mercie**

I can send you a direct message @Quiver. I might not be the one you wanted to send to, but I promise to listen, and keep it confidential.

**Quiver**

Sure thanks.

**Huntress**

Wow, I really wasn't expecting that.

**Hilda-chan**

ugh, I really wanted to know more...  
by the way, what were you doing in class today, Edelgard?

**Flame Emperor**

doing?  
what do you mean?  
I wasn't doing anything special

**Hilda-chan**

You looked very focused on that notebook of yours. Like, VERY focused.

**Flame Emperor**

so?  
taking notes in class is only natural

**Hilda-chan**

Are you sure? You had a very intense expression, and seemed kinda oblivious to everything around you.

**BernieBear**

Yeah, I noticed too. You looked kinda like... um... well... kinda like...

**Lysithea**

Kinda like?

**BernieBear**

Well, how people have described me when... um... I'm drawing...

**Lysithea**

You draw?

**Huntress**

You draw?

**Hilda-chan**

You draw?

**BernieBear**

Yes. Sometimes. A little.

**Huntress**

I want to see!

**BernieBear**

No. Absolutely not.

**Flame Emperor**

well I wasn't doing anything of the sort  
I was just busy taking notes

**Hilda-chan**

You sure? You were so into it you didn't even notice when the professor looked over your shoulder.

**Flame Emperor**

she what?

**Hilda-chan**

She was standing there for like a minute, and then she smiled. You're right, it's a very beautiful smile.

**Flame Emperor**

you're joking  
you're messing with me  
please tell me you're messing with me

**BernieBear**

I saw it too. Well, not the smile, since I sit behind you, and she wasn't facing my way. But she was standing there for a bit watching what you were doing.  
Did you truly not notice her?

**Flame Emperor**

no  
fdjkfsykdzjutulfxghjndfklhdzjrtjdfjkmgkdfnfdjkyhsdrhfyykifjuhdzjr  
my life is over

**Hilda-chan**

Huh?

**Lysithea**

Edelgard?

**Flame Emperor**

I need  
someone needs to come to my room  
right now  
and KILL ME!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilda ended up being more of a bratty bitch this time than I originally intended, but... oh well.


	7. Shocking Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended to keep this series as light and fluffy as possible, but once I entered exposition/world-building mode I got carried away. I couldn't really find a way to fix it, so my two options were basically to either scrap it, or post it anyway, and... I'm sorry. I hope it won't bore too many people.
> 
> Credit where credit is due: This chapter was built on ideas provided by other people. [Ruff_Ethereal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal) and I were talking about an MMO a while back, and I ended up adapting that, while the Ingrid idea came from [Rose](https://twitter.com/AngryAria).
> 
> And since it could be useful, I created a list of [everyone's handles, and who's behind them](https://varewulf.wordpress.com/garreg-mach-gay-girls-discord-member-list/). Everyone who's shown up so far, at least. More will be added as/if it becomes relevant.

**Flame Emperor**

welp  
Hubert just confirmed it  
professor Byleth is the Ashen Demon

**Primadonna**

She's the what?

**Lysithea**

Hang on.  
You don't mean from Warcries?

**Flame Emperor**

yup, that's exactly what I mean

**Petra**

From war?

**Hilda-chan**

What on earth are you talking about?

**Lysithea**

It's a game we used to play. Warcries Online. Edelgard, Hubert, and I were in a guild together with some other people. The Ashen Demon was a legendary player.  
Wait, how did you even find out?

**Petra**

Oh yes, I remember seeing advertisements.

**Flame Emperor**

well, after I told Hubert how your investigation didn't really turn up anything, that the professor's past was a mystery, I think he took it as a challenge  
not that he's managed to dig up a lot either  
but he learned she likes cats, what her favourite cereal is, and he was able to track some of her online history, including that she used to play WCO

**Hilda-chan**

That's honestly kinda creepy. Though now I gotta know what her favourite cereal is.

**Flame Emperor**

corn flakes  
just regular corn flakes  
with some strawberry jam

**Animal Friend**

I like corn flakes too.  
I don't like online games though. Having people rely on me for anything makes me anxious.

**Hilda-chan**

Hey, I rely on you, sweetie. <3

**Animal Friend**

That's different. But thank you, Hilda. I rely on you too.

**Lysithea**

Wait wait wait, you haven't told the Death Knight, have you? He'd come all the way from wherever he is just to fight her.

**Flame Emperor**

uh  
he's already here  
coach Emile

**Lysithea**

WHAT! COACH EMILE IS THE DEATH KNIGHT?!

**Hilda-chan**

Okay okay, can all the nerds just calm down now?

**Petra**

You are jumping around too much. I want to hear more about the Ashen Demon and the Death Knight.

**Lysithea**

Uh, sure, sorry.  
So WCO had a pretty big PvP side to it, and the Ashen Demon was a real legend. They... she, I guess. She wasn't at the top of the rankings, but that was only because she wasn't in an active guild, and as such didn't participate in a bunch of things. But everyone knew she was the best.

**Primadonna**

Back up a little. What's PvP?

**Hilda-chan**

Yeah, not everyone speaks nerd, nerd.

**Lysithea**

Shut it, Hilda.

**Flame Emperor**

it means player versus player  
when you're battling other player-controlled characters instead of computer-controlled monsters and characters  
while there were some zones where that wasn't allowed, most zones in the game were open for pvp engagements

**Primadonna**

I see.

**Flame Emperor**

and it's true the Ashen Demon was legendary  
she was rumoured to be undefeated  
countless people tried to take her on, and some claimed to have actually won, but no one could present any proof of it  
so their claims were considered dubious at best

**BernieBear**

I never touched any PvP, but even I heard the stories of how the Ashen Demon wandered the most dangerous zones, taking on quests that required whole groups on her own, and striking down anyone who tried to attack her.

**Lysithea**

I didn't know you played, Bernadetta.

**BernieBear**

I mostly soloed in the safe areas.

**Hilda-chan**

I'm surrounded by nerds!

**Petra**

The Ashen Demon is a cool name. But why would coach Emile want to fight her?

**Flame Emperor**

it was just a nickname  
I forget what her actual character name was, but it was something fairly dull

**Lysithea**

Grey Sword? Steel Blade? Iron Claymore?

**Flame Emperor**

something like that  
she didn't look very impressive either  
none of her armour was dyed, or glamoured  
never responded to anything you tried to say to her either  
if it wasn't for the player nameplate you could mistake her for a soldier NPC of some sort  
but if you tried to attack her, you'd find yourself dead before you knew it

**Petra**

NPC?

**Lysithea**

Non-Player Character. Someone controlled by the computer.

**Primadonna**

Uh... huh...  
And... coach Emile?

**Flame Emperor**

uh  
oh  
sorry, I got carried away  
well, he played the Death Knight, who was a bit of a legend himself  
he happened to come across the Ashen Demon once, and got completely thrashed  
she wasn't that well known back then, and that was actually part of what started the legend

**Lysithea**

I actually got into the guild because I beat him. Edelgard sought me out after I beat him down when he tried to gank me.

**Petra**

Gank?

**Lysithea**

Sorry. When he ambushed me. Tried to kill my character with the element of surprise.

**Petra**

I see. That is pretty clever. You must have been very strong to still win.

**Lysithea**

I'm not sure I'd say that. He was one of the most feared players, and I don't think I could have ever ranked higher than him. It's more like... I was the rock to his scissors. Couldn't beat me, and it turned into a one-sided rivalry. He kept challenging me to duels after I joined the guild, but he only won one of them.

**Flame Emperor**

wasn't that when you let him win so he'd stop pestering you?

**Lysithea**

He doesn't know that, and he doesn't need to know that.

**Flame Emperor**

but as Lysithea's tale indicates, he can become rather obsessed...  
and he was really obsessed with the idea of beating the Ashen Demon  
trained and grinded for it a ton, but by the time the game shut down he hadn't achieved his goal

**Petra**

So if he knew the professor was his nemesis, he would want revenge.

**Primadonna**

That sounds a bit over-dramatic, Petra.

**Mercie**

Are you talking about my brother?

**BernieBear**

Your brother?

**Mercie**

Yes, my little brother Emile.

**Flame Emperor**

little?

**Lysithea**

The Death Knight is your little brother?!?!

**Primadonna**

Huh. I guess you have the same hair, now that you mention it.

**Mercie**

We were separated for a while, but that's not so important right now.  
I've been getting worried about Ingrid lately.

**Primadonna**

Worried? Why, what's happened?

**Mercie**

Well, Sylvain won't stop being Sylvain, and Ingrid feels a duty to try to clean up his messes. I think her frustration with it is growing.  
She's been joking that she'll have to start dating him herself to make him behave, but more and more it's started to sound less like joking, and more like resignation.

**Hilda-chan**

Oof. I wouldn't recommend anyone date Lorenz, even to keep him in check. Sounds like Sylvain isn't much better.

**Mercie**

I wouldn't dream of standing in the way of love, but I get the feeling this is more about wanting to spare others than feeling any genuine romance towards him.  
So I'm worried.

**Primadonna**

No way am I going to stand by and let such a fate befall my Ingrid.

**Flame Emperor**

_your_ Ingrid?

**Primadonna**

I think we need to have a strategy meeting, Mercie.

**Mercie**

I believe that might be for the best.

**Hilda-chan**

I want to come! With the power of three classes, surely we can figure something out.

**Primadonna**

We're in the same class now, Hilda. But thanks, I appreciate it.  
I wonder if she's actually paying attention right now?

**BernieBear**

Huh? What do you mean?

**Primadonna**

Well I invited her to the server a while back, but didn't actually tell her what kind of server it was.  
I got a bit of an earful after she figured it out.  
But I noticed she never actually left the server, she just appears to be constantly offline. So I wonder if she's been actually lurking this whole time.  
Just a theory, of course. Even if it was the case, I doubt she'll reveal herself even if I call her out like this.

**Lysithea**

Hang on, you're saying Winged Knight is Ingrid?!

**Primadonna**

Yup!

**Lysithea**

Eeesh, what's with all the shocking reveals today?

**Mercie**

Do you have a plan in mind, Dorothea?

**Primadonna**

I might, but we'll talk more about that in private. I'll play my trump card if I have to.

**Hilda-chan**

Oooo, I'm intrigued already~

**Flame Emperor**

well  
that was

**Lysithea**

Yeah...  
So, the Ashen Demon, huh?

**Flame Emperor**

right  
you know, I'm not sure if I like the professor more, or less now

**Petra**

I do not think there is anything that could make you like the professor less, Edelgard.  
You are hopelessly romantic.

**BernieBear**

I don't think that's quite the saying you meant, Petra, but I agree with your sentiment.

**Animal Friend**

I don't want to be rude, but I have seen the way you look at her, Edelgard.

**Flame Emperor**

urk  
I know  
but would it hurt you to at least _pretend_ I have some dignity?


	8. Sharing Mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typically try to take at least a day's break between chapters to give my brain a rest. To make it easier to come up with new stuff, and hope it's actually good. But this time stuff just really wanted to get written, as I try to give a bunch of stuff some progress. Just a bunch of smaller ideas shoved together.
> 
> If you want to know who's who in chat, [I made a list you can find here](https://varewulf.wordpress.com/garreg-mach-gay-girls-discord-member-list/).

**Wizard Annie**

how did it go with Ingrid @Primadonna? Mercie told me you went to speak with her alone.

**Primadonna**

Yeah, I did.  
It didn't go great. She felt I was just butting in where I had no business to, and didn't really want to listen to me. So I had to play my trump card.

**Wizard Annie**

Your trump card?

**Primadonna**

Yes. I confessed my undying love for her.

**Hilda-chan**

Whoa~

**Mercie**

Oh my. So that's what you meant.

**Primadonna**

Haha, yeah. I... I just hope she takes me seriously.  
Like, I know better than anyone that I tend to joke, and tease. A lot. But I told her the honest truth.

**Hilda-chan**

I wouldn't have expected that.

**Primadonna**

Neither did she, it seemed. But I fell for her quite a while ago. Not often you find a girl who's so... gallant, you know? Yet still so modest about it. She's just so cool. Before I knew it I had fallen hard.

**Mercie**

Oh dear. Why didn't you tell her before?

**Primadonna**

Eh... this probably sounds pathetic, but I figured she wouldn't want to be with someone like me. Figured it was better to not find out. So I acted as casual and normal as I could. Guess I fooled everyone, huh?

**Hilda-chan**

I'll say. I had no idea.

**Primadonna**

But when I heard she was at risk of getting together with someone else, and maybe not even for romantic reasons, I realised I couldn't just... leave it unsaid. I really hope I got my feelings across. If she thinks I was just joking, it would break my heart way harder than if she just turned me down.  
Though with my luck maybe she truly is straight.  
For now I'm on "I'll let you know" status. Didn't realise it would suck this hard, haha.

**Flame Emperor**

Dorothea...

**Mercie**

Sweetie...

**Primadonna**

Okay, that's enough of that. Please someone talk about something less depressing.

**Lysithea**

Well, I heard your class actually got an honest to goddess transfer student. What's up with that?

**Primadonna**

Oh! Yes, Flayn. Very unexpected. I genuinely thought stuff like that only happened in stories.

**Mercie**

What is she like?

**Hilda-chan**

Very polite and proper. I'd even say eager to be courteous. But she doesn't give off the impression that she's weak, or weak-willed. Maybe a little naive? Her excitement to make friends with us seems genuine, even if she maybe comes on a little strong.

**BernieBear**

And it seems like she knows the professor. Maybe they're related? They don't really look alike, but they kinda feel alike. Maybe that sounds crazy.

**Primadonna**

I think I get what you mean, Bernie. But I haven't gotten the impression that the professor treats her with any more familiarity than the rest of us. So I don't think they'd be more than distant relatives at most.  
She sure hangs around the professor a bunch, though. It's made Edie jealous.

**Flame Emperor**

what?  
I am not jealous  
that's preposterous

**Primadonna**

You've been pouting for days.

**Flame Emperor**

oh come on  
that's not true at all  
I'm not _that_ bad

**Hilda-chan**

You sure? I've seen your longing gaze as you watch the two of them chatting with your puppy-dog eyes.

**Flame Emperor**

jdazjtjugsfgvjyh STOP

**Primadonna**

The professor has said we don't have to treat her formally, Edie. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you let more of your heart show.  
In fact, maybe we should invite her to the server so you can get to know her better?

**Flame Emperor**

you can't  
it's students only

**Primadonna**

Rules are meant to be broken, Edie. You want to spend more time with her, right? And I'm sure she'd love to hear how we all truly feel about her. Maybe I should pull up the chat logs to show her?

**Flame Emperor**

YHKIRFHDJHGDZKJFZJUDJZ  
STOP PICKING ON ME

**Hilda-chan**

Ooo, someone's grumpy today!

**Mercie**

Come now, be nice, children. Edelgard is clearly not in the mood, so I'm declaring this a bully-free zone. Okay?

**Primadonna**

Okay. Sorry, Edie.

**Flame Emperor**

thank you

**Huntress**

Hey everyone.

**BernieBear**

Hi Leonie.

**Huntress**

Whoa, seems like I came in at a lively time.

**Lysithea**

I'll say.  
Actually, on the topic of transfers, I have filed my request to transfer to professor Hanneman's class.

**Mercie**

Oooohhhh~  
So you finally took the leap?

**Lysithea**

Yeah. I think he suits me better as a professor, and...  
And it lets me spend more time with Mercedes and Annette. I'm sure some of you have probably already noticed, but I have a thing with those two.

**Wizard Annie**

a thing?

**Mercie**

Oh my, is that what you call it?

**Lysithea**

Sorry.  
I mean a relationship.  
I was kinda just playing around at first, because it was cute how flustered Annette got if I flirted with her. And Mercedes was oddly unbothered and nice about it, so I kept at it. But it's developed into more than that, and I like them both, so... I guess I'm following Dorothea's example of not wanting to leave things unsaid.

**Mercie**

That's very sweet of you, Lysithea. Thank you.

**Lysithea**

You're welcome. And I bet Annette is blushing her ears off again.

**Wizard Annie**

I am not!

**Huntress**

Since we're already in a sharing mood, I guess I can also fess up that I've filed for a transfer to professor Byleth's class.

**Hilda-chan**

Oh? I guess our old class is rapidly running out of girls. Welcome to the fold!

**Huntress**

Thanks. I figured that since Jeralt isn't a professor himself, learning from his kid is probably the next best thing. I might have been dubious at first, but she really seems to have picked up a lot from her old man.

**Lysithea**

Hm... and I guess it has nothing to do with someone you'd like to be closer to?

**Huntress**

What? What are you talking about?

**Primadonna**

I think she's just curious whether there might be someone you're interested in. Maybe in this class.

**Huntress**

Why would you think that?

**Hilda-chan**

I wonder~

**BernieBear**

Huh? Is there someone you're into, Leonie?

**Huntress**

Uh...  
I... I just remembered there's something I need to do. Can't stay. Sorry. Talk to y'all later.

**Mercie**

Oh dear, so much for my bully-free zone. I look away for one minute, and you're right back at it. Shame on you. And I guess she's not quite ready to be honest yet.

**Primadonna**

Sorry, Mercie. Maybe I should give her some advice in private?

**Flame Emperor**

I don't get it?  
who is she into?

**BernieBear**

Yeah, I want to know too.

**Primadonna**

Now, now, I can't just give away other people's secrets. You'll either have to figure it out yourself, or wait until she's ready to tell.

**Hilda-chan**

Yeah, wouldn't want to spoil the surprise~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea shows a more vulnerable side for once, and Flayn is actually in the school! The transfer student idea wanted to make it in there, so I let it enter. Still not decided on whether she's joining the chat. Not right away, at least. Like Ingrid she is rather lacking on the f/f A-rank supports. Heck, she has almost no f/f supports at all, so I'm not sure how she interacts with the other girls. I just like the idea of El getting a bit jealous. I'm evil.
> 
> When someone turns on the caps lock you know they're really serious.


	9. Inspirational News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After two chapters in rapid succession this weekend it was nice to take a day off, but I was too tempted to get back into it to stay away for longer than that.
> 
> Only really two things to note this time. 1) I am too fond of happy endings to keep drama going for very long. If you've followed my previous writing in other fandoms you're probably aware. 2) Edelgard being an Edelgay disaster is much too fun.
> 
> Oh, and 3) This fic has now passed 400 kudos, somehow. You're only encouraging me, you know.
> 
> If you need a refresher on who everyone is, [here's a link to the list](https://varewulf.wordpress.com/garreg-mach-gay-girls-discord-member-list/).

**Primadonna**

Eeheehee  
Heeheehee~

**Flame Emperor**

Dorothea?

**Primadonna**

I'm giddy!  
Quick! Someone ask me why I'm giddy!

**Wizard Annie**

okay. why are you giddy?

**Primadonna**

Ingrid said yes!

**Wizard Annie**

whoa, really?

**Flame Emperor**

congrats!

**Petra**

Congratulations.

**Primadonna**

Well, to one date. She is still unsure of things, but said she's willing to give me a chance. Though she didn't specify exactly what she is unsure of. Whether she likes girls, whether she likes me, or whether she believes my sincerity. Maybe all of the above.  
I thought you'd already be aware, Annie?

**Wizard Annie**

no.

**Mercie**

Ingrid came to talk to me, but I had to promise to not tell anyone anything before she made a decision. Not even Annie.

**Primadonna**

Thank you, Mercie!

**Mercie**

Oh, I didn't do that much, honest. She just needed someone to listen.

**Flame Emperor**

so what are you doing on your date?

**Primadonna**

uh  
I don't know.

**Petra**

You do not know?

**Primadonna**

Not yet.  
I told Ingrid I'd let her decide, since it's her trial run and all. Except I didn't use the term trial run. That would have sounded too pathetic.  
But yeah, I'd prefer if it was something that made her comfortable. Even if it's going to the history museum or whatever.

**Hilda-chan**

What if she's lurking right now to see your reaction?

**Primadonna**

Shit, maybe I should delete that.

**Mercie**

I'm sure it's fine, sweetie.

**Petra**

Speaking of dates, Bernadetta and I are going on another one soon.

**Primadonna**

Ooo, congrats~

**Petra**

I think she is becoming less nervous about it. But it is hard to not worry about whether I am doing something wrong.

**Primadonna**

Well, you're very beautiful, Petra. That can be a little... I'm not sure if intimidating is the right word, but something akin to that. And I got the impression Bernie never thought anyone would be interested in her, so there might be some shock and disbelief involved.  
At least she's never run away screaming from you.  
Has she?

**Petra**

Once.

**Primadonna**

Ah. Same.

**Flame Emperor**

twice for me

**Hilda-chan**

She doesn't scream, but she does vanish really quickly whenever I try to bring up the subject of doing something about her hair.

**Petra**

Bernadetta is very cute, so I hope she can become less nervous of me. I would like to hug her. She looks very soft.

**Primadonna**

Ahaha, you're so pure. I wish you good luck. Both of you.

**Hilda-chan**

I'll be crossing my fingers, and my hair for you.

**Petra**

Crossing your hair? Do you wish to learn how to braid it?

**Hilda-chan**

ooo, maybe~

**Wizard Annie**

we should go on a date too, Mercie.

**Mercie**

Oh my, that's not a bad idea. We should check with Lysithea when she is available.

**Huntress**

Check it out, I've learned something amazing about the upcoming Sports Day.

**Wizard Annie**

huh?

**Huntress**

Professor Byleth will be doing an exhibition.

**Primadonna**

What?

**Hilda-chan**

Wait, what do you mean?

**Huntress**

Well, I was hanging out with Jeralt, and he mentioned that his daughter was doing something special for Sports Day. So I went to ask her about it.

**Primadonna**

Okay. And?

**Huntress**

She told me she's doing an exhibition of her ability. A full range of athletics, from gymnastics, through stuff like like archery and fencing, then finishing up with a round of swimming. It sounds like quite the routine. She said she hopes she can live up to expectations, which I think is as close to admitting she's a little worried as we can get.

**Wizard Annie**

whoa, that sounds intense.

**Petra**

I am interested to see just what the professor can do.

**Huntress**

And get this. It was by request of the student council.

**Primadonna**

Edie.  
You didn't.

**Flame Emperor**

listen  
the professor is, among other things, an accomplished athlete of multiple disciplines  
the student body can benefit from a demonstration of high-level ability

**Primadonna**

Edie!  
You didn't!

**Flame Emperor**

it should serve to motivate them for the upcoming activities

**Hilda-chan**

Oh, someone is motivated alright.

**Flame Emperor**

I don't see what's wrong with it  
the headmaster agreed that it would serve as an inspiration to everyone

**Primadonna**

Uh-huh. I bet she did.

**Petra**

How bold of you, Edelgard.  
But I will admit I am also curious.

**Wizard Annie**

wow

**Hilda-chan**

I'm impressed you managed to propose something like that without blushing your head off.

**Flame Emperor**

hjkfhzdjuuzdghzjzdj  
it's for the good of everyone!  
that's what the student council is supposed to work for

**Huntress**

I suppose the professor's rippling muscles didn't factor into it?

**Mercie**

Or how gracefully her toned body moves?

**Primadonna**

Or what she'll look like when she's all sweaty?

**Hilda-chan**

Or how her skin will glisten when she comes out of the water?  
Truly inspirational~

**Flame Emperor**

you've got it all wrong!  
I wasn't just thinking about myself

**Huntress**

not "just", huh?

**Mercie**

The professor is quite popular. We might have to be on the lookout for fainting students.

**Primadonna**

I'll be at Edie's side, with plenty of water for her thirst, and smelling salts ready for when she passes out.

**Flame Emperor**

gfhjdjkkkzs I'm not going to pass out!

**Hilda-chan**

It wouldn't be the first time. Remember?

**Flame Emperor**

ugh, you're the worst  
all of you  
I don't have to sit here and take this  
I have work to do  
bye

**Wizard Annie**

wow. if it had been me, I don't think I could have done it.

**Hilda-chan**

Yeah, I wasn't kidding about being impressed. She's got guts.

**Petra**

I approve. It is best to be honest about your desires.

**Primadonna**

She isn't truly being honest, though. In fact she seems to have upped her denial lately. I thought she was making progress for a while there, but now... hopefully she'll learn to relax again.

**Mercie**

Maybe we should tease her a little less?

**Hilda-chan**

Mm... she's too easy of a target. You just can't help yourself, you know? Even you joined in this time, Mercedes.

**Mercie**

Yeah... guilty as charged. I need to reflect on my actions.

**Wizard Annie**

don't be too hard on yourself, Mercie.

**Primadonna**

Yeah, we're all guilty. Let's see how things turn out on Sports Day, and then consider if maybe we should help her out.


	10. Sports Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the most excited I've been to write anything in a while. Thank you very much to [Rose](https://twitter.com/AngryAria) for helping me brainstorm this whole thing. I hope it's as fun for you as it was for me.
> 
> Edit: Right I should remember to keep [linking the member list](https://varewulf.wordpress.com/garreg-mach-gay-girls-discord-member-list/).

**Flame Emperor**

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

**BernieBear**

What's wrong with Edelgard?

**Primadonna**

Bernie! Shouldn't you be resting? Are you feeling better already?

**BernieBear**

Not really, but I'm very bored.  
What happened?

**Primadonna**

It's because of what happened during sports day today.

**BernieBear**

Did we lose?

**Primadonna**

No, we won. But Edie had a rather interesting way of claiming victory.

**Flame Emperor**

I'm a lost cause

**BernieBear**

What? Why?

**Hilda-chan**

Well... things started off well. The professor's exhibition was amazing. We made sure to film it for you, Bernadetta, but it might not measure up to what it was like to see it in action.

**Primadonna**

Edie was very good, and didn't pass out. Though she had to sit down, and clutched her water bottle very tight. Especially when the professor did the splits.

**Hilda-chan**

And I saw you put a hand on her shoulder when professor Byleth emerged from the water.

**Flame Emperor**

uuuuuuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

**Mercie**

It was a very warm day, so there were some students who required care. Both during the display, and otherwise. I had organised with professor Manuela to have some response teams ready.

**Primadonna**

Yeah, we were lucky, or possibly unlucky, with the weather. Brilliant sunshine. I think Manuela herself looked a little dizzy at one point there.

**BernieBear**

I'm not great with the heat, so even if I hadn't caught this cold I might not have been much use out there...

**Animal Friend**

I was there, and still wasn't much help.

**Hilda-chan**

You did good, Marianne. You and Ferdinand handled the horses better than anyone else in our class could have. Not your fault Ingrid seems to have a psychic link with her horse.

**Primadonna**

Yeah, she really made my heart skip a beat. Didn't expect Sylvain to do so well too. But at least we beat Claude's class in that event.

**Petra**

Yes. And we made up for it in other events. I had a lot of fun.

**BernieBear**

That's good to hear. So what was the problem?

**Hilda-chan**

After all the regular events were over, the scores between the three classes were remarkably close. Dimitri's class is full of heavy hitters of course, but Claude had planned out his team exceptionally well.

**Huntress**

Yeah, even with Hilda, Lysithea, Marianne, and I gone, he still managed to have a tiny lead on us at the end, and we were only slightly ahead of the Lions.  
I'm not as good of an archer as you, Bernadetta, so I wasn't able to win that event.

**BernieBear**

I'm sorry.

**Primadonna**

Hey, if you get sick, you get sick. No use trying to blame anyone. Regardless it was all down to who won the relay race at the very end.

**Flame Emperor**

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuuu

**Mercie**

Unfortunately our class didn't do so well. Dimitri and Dedue didn't really have the coordination down for the three-legged race, poor Annie's misfortune struck at a crucial point, and Lysithea had to be taken to the infirmary.

**Lysithea**

Not my proudest moment... the heat really got to me, and suddenly everything went black.

**Mercie**

Get back to bed, @Lysithea.

**Lysithea**

I am in bed!

**Huntress**

So the race was only truly between our class and Claude's. It went back and forth a bunch.

**Primadonna**

Raphael claiming the tug-of-war gave Claude a slight lead going into the final part: the scavenger hunt. They both had to find "something hot", and Claude went for Lorenz's fresh cup of tea, which he was reluctant to give up at first. So Edie's desperation put her into full disaster mode.

**Flame Emperor**

A LOST CAUSE

**BernieBear**

What did she do?

**Primadonna**

She grabbed professor Byleth's arm, and dragged her along to the judging table.

**Hilda-chan**

I was watching Claude. He was halfway back with the tea when he spotted what Edelgard was doing, and he just stopped. I think he decided it was better to watch the events about to unfold than win the race. He even started sipping Lorenz's tea!

**Huntress**

I didn't even see that, that's amazing.

**Flame Emperor**

please stop

**Lysithea**

Now I feel even worse about missing it.

**Mercie**

Getting you to the infirmary was more important. But I imagine it was quite the sight.

**Primadonna**

Shamir was the judge. She accepted Edie's choice without question. I could see all the blood drain from Edie's face as she realised what she had done.

**Quiver**

As an impartial judge I can't deny the facts. If I wasn't already married... besides it's not like anyone stepped forth to argue either. The professor herself seemed a bit confused though.

**Hilda-chan**

What was her reaction? I wasn't close enough to hear.

**Flame Emperor**

please stop  
I'm already dead

**Primadonna**

Edie. What did the professor say?

**Flame Emperor**

noooooooooooooo

**Quiver**

I can tell you. She said "I guess I'm still pretty warmed up from the exhibition, and the sun's pretty intense."

**BernieBear**

Oh wow.

**Hilda-chan**

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

**Flame Emperor**

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  
my life is over  
please  
someone put me out of my misery

**Primadonna**

Don't be like that, Edie. You took a gamble, and it gave us the victory. You should be happy. Whatever it takes to win, right? And it was an amazing show.

**Flame Emperor**

I can't show my face in class ever again

**Mercie**

Oh dear. But it sounds like the professor thought it was completely innocent. You shouldn't worry so much.

**Flame Emperor**

uuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuuu

**Primadonna**

Awww, Edie. I'm coming to your room, okay?

**Flame Emperor**

leave me to wallow in misery  
unless you plan to end me

**Primadonna**

No. But I'll give you a hug.

**Flame Emperor**

...  
okay

**Mercie**

Should I bring some tea?

**Flame Emperor**

nooooooooooo

**Hilda-chan**

Maybe not the best choice in the circumstances, Mercedes.

**Mercie**

Oh, right. Just some sweets, then?

**Flame Emperor**

okay

**Primadonna**

It'll be okay, Edie. See you soon, okay?

**Flame Emperor**

okay


	11. Things In Common

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long. After I posted the last chapter all my creative drive just dried up, and died off. I started writing this on the 14. September, over a month ago, and I remember noting that in the first week I only managed to write 87 words. Normally I'd be able to write something like this in a day or two. And even with all that time, it still feels kinda half-baked to me. Most days have just been zero output whatsoever.
> 
> Unfortunately AO3 doesn't really have a way for me to post status updates, so I wasn't able to keep you all updated. Tweets and fic notes are all I have. And the latter requires actually having something to post.
> 
> This is quite possibly the last chapter I'm posting to this fic, unless I happen to suddenly find some inspiration and motivation. I'm really sorry it isn't any sort of a conclusion. I know some of you got a bit invested. But I just need to get it out at this point. Stick a fork in it, isn't that what they say? Hopefully that will loosen up some things, and maybe I can at least move on to something else. At the very least I don't have to keep thinking about finishing this chapter.
> 
> Right, I should definitely [link to the member list](https://varewulf.wordpress.com/garreg-mach-gay-girls-discord-member-list/) considering how long it's been.

**Flame Emperor**

fu~fu~fu~  
I managed to pay attention in class today

**Lysithea**

Huh? You haven't been paying attention before now?

**Flame Emperor**

I have  
but  
lately there have been  
complications

**Lysithea**

Complications?

**Primadonna**

What Edie means is:  
Last week we finally convinced the professor to wear her glasses regularly, and not just once in a while. Which has unfortunately had a detrimental effect on Edie.

**Flame Emperor**

ugh  
I wish I could deny it  
but I've already laid bare how pathetic I am  
so I doubt anyone would buy it

**Primadonna**

And you agreed to this, remember?

**Flame Emperor**

I know  
I thought I could handle it better  
but I can now  
I'm good  
an important victory

**Primadonna**

Then maybe Hubert will stop staring daggers at me.

**Flame Emperor**

wait, really?  
he has?  
ugh, I'll talk to him

**Primadonna**

I wondered if I'd have to ask Hilda to stuff him into a locker.

**Lysithea**

Hahaha.

**Hilda-chan**

What? Why me?

**Primadonna**

Because you're stronger than me. And him.

**Hilda-chan**

Still sounds like a lot of effort.

**Primadonna**

I'm sure I could make it worth your while~

**Flame Emperor**

please don't bully my best friend

**Mercie**

Hello, everyone.

**Lysithea**

Hi, Mercedes.

**Primadonna**

Hi, Mercie!

**Hilda-chan**

Hiya.  
You know, I've been thinking for a while now... why don't you just ask the professor out, Edelgard?

**Flame Emperor**

what  
I can't  
I can't date the professor  
that would be

**Lysithea**

Bold of you to immediately assume she'd say yes.

**Flame Emperor**

gjdhjtggsjtgjdgsfgshjtj

**Primadonna**

Maybe Hilda has a point, Edie. It might be your only chance at survival.  
I'm sure each and every person in class would understand.

**Flame Emperor**

survival?  
please give me some credit  
I'm not going to die if I stay single

**Hilda-chan**

Are you sure?

**Flame Emperor**

hkjuhdjhdshfkfzdjj YES

**Mercie**

Now now, please behave. Edelgard is a capable young lady.  
Even if dating is out of the question, maybe try to come up with something you could do together? You're not that far apart in age, so maybe you have some interests or hobbies in common?

**Flame Emperor**

hm?  
hmmm...

**Hilda-chan**

The only interest we know the professor has is fishing.

**Primadonna**

And I think Edie is more interested in being the catch.

**Lysithea**

We know she used to play an MMO. Maybe she still does? Do you still play anything, Edelgard?

**Flame Emperor**

I've tried a bunch of stuff since the WCO sequel was so disappointing, but nothing has really grabbed me the same way  
and with the guild members having scattered it's harder to really get invested

**Lysithea**

Yeah, I understand. Unfortunately I'm too busy with studies to really have time for an MMO now.

**Flame Emperor**

no worries  
Hubert will of course play with me  
but the two of us can only do so much  
I think Emile exclusively plays battle royales now  
and I don't really have contact info for the others

**Hilda-chan**

You are such nerds! Spend some actual time in her company! You could ask her for some private tutoring. Or maybe one-on-one coaching in some... physical activity~

**Primadonna**

Lewd.

**Hilda-chan**

I meant a sport or martial art or something!

**Primadonna**

Uh-huh. 😉

**Lysithea**

I don't believe you.

**Mercie**

If I may make a suggestion, why not ask her to model for you? You like drawing, correct? I'm sure the professor would agree, especially if you said it was for an art project.

**Flame Emperor**

what?

**Primadonna**

Ooo, yes~

**Lysithea**

Yes.

**Flame Emperor**

no

**Hilda-chan**

Yes.  
Nude model.

**Flame Emperor**

no!!!

**BernieBear**

Hey.

**Primadonna**

Hi Bernie!

**Mercie**

Hello, Bernadetta.

**BernieBear**

Uh... are Petra or Leonie here?

**Primadonna**

No, but I could at least get Petra for you.

**BernieBear**

No!  
No, it's better that they're not.  
It's...

**Hilda-chan**

Hm? Is something wrong?

**Flame Emperor**

Bernadetta?

**BernieBear**

It's...  
Leonie asked me out.

**Hilda-chan**

What?

**Primadonna**

But you're dating Petra.

**BernieBear**

Yes.

**Primadonna**

And she knows that.

**BernieBear**

Yes.  
I even double-checked. She said she knows, and asked anyway.

**Lysithea**

So you turned her down.

**BernieBear**

...

**Primadonna**

Bernie... did you say yes?

**BernieBear**

No!  
But... I also didn't say no...

**Hilda-chan**

Huh? Why?

**BernieBear**

I like Leonie. I mean, I feel comfortable around her. There's something about her that makes me not feel anxious when we're together. Not as much, anyway.

**Primadonna**

Bernie...

**Hilda-chan**

Are things not going well with Petra?

**BernieBear**

They are!  
I was nervous at first, but Petra is really nice, and patient. I've gotten much better at relaxing around her. I even gave her a hug the other day.

**Flame Emperor**

so what's the issue?

**BernieBear**

I... I don't want to hurt either of them. I don't know what to do.

**Primadonna**

Bernie...

**BernieBear**

I know! I know...  
Oh goddess, it's like I'm a character from a shoujo manga.

**Hilda-chan**

Haha. Bernadetta von Varley stars in: "Bernie the Hunted"

**BernieBear**

The Hunted???

**Primadonna**

I see what you're getting at. Petra and Leonie are both into hunting, and now Bernie is the prey.

**BernieBear**

Prey??????

**Hilda-chan**

Hey, maybe they'll get along. They both like hunting, fishing, working out... and you~

**BernieBear**

Why me?!?!?

**Hilda-chan**

Maybe they'll duel for your honour!

**Lysithea**

All joking aside, we should probably talk to Leonie, Hilda.

**Hilda-chan**

Yeah, we probably should.

**BernieBear**

Please don't.

**Lysithea**

Asking out someone who's already in a relationship isn't exactly cool. Hilda and I probably know her best, so if anyone is to talk sense into her, it should probably be us.

**BernieBear**

I should tell her myself.

**Primadonna**

Then why tell us about it?

**BernieBear**

Uh... because I don't really know how to do it...

**Hilda-chan**

Not to be rude, but are you really one to talk, Lysithea?

**Lysithea**

That's different. That's not how it went.

**Mercie**

Yes, that was actually my idea. We talked it out together.

**BernieBear**

Maybe I could do that.

**Primadonna**

What? You mean talk it out with the both of them at the same time?

**BernieBear**

Maybe.

**Primadonna**

You realise that likely means talking to them in person, right? In the same room?

**Hilda-chan**

There's definitely going to be a duel! I'm kinda excited.

**Lysithea**

Or we could just help you by telling Leonie she crossed a line. Friends help each other, Bernadetta.

**BernieBear**

I just want to settle this without anyone getting hurt.

**Mercie**

I'm not sure if that's avoidable at this point, sweetie. And that's not your fault. But it's not like we can force you to let us help you. Please don't hesitate to ask though. There's absolutely no shame in it.

**BernieBear**

Mm... I still want to try to do this myself. Thanks for listening.

**Mercie**

Okay. Good luck.

**Primadonna**

I'll set up an emergency response plan, just in case.


End file.
